Monthly Archives: July 2015

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time I believed that abortion was OK.  That a woman had a right to choose.  That if having a baby was going to “mess” with her life, she was justified in having an abortion.  After all, it’s not like it was an actual baby.  Really just some tissue growing in the wrong place.  Have it removed.  Like a mole!

But as I grew older and thought more about it, I realized that it was quite arbitrary to say this is a baby after he or she was born, but not five minutes before that.  And if it was a baby then, how about five minutes before that?  And five minutes before that?  At what point did this child cease to be a human being and just become tissue.  I couldn’t answer that.  And the more I learned about fetal development, the more they became human, until finally, I could no longer believe abortion was OK.

I used to believe that Planned Parenthood was mostly interested in women’s health, that they were trying to provide access to safe birth control that would reduce the number of abortions.  I believed that tissue was donated for the furtherance of science for a reasonable handling fee. But then I learned that they are selectively crushing babies so that specific parts can be harvested.  Then they “donate” them to labs for research for which they receive handling fees in the hundreds dollars per sample.  That their clinics have quotas for the number of abortions they perform each day.  I no longer believe that Planned Parenthood is a benign organization.  They are a business and their business is based on killing babies.

For those of you who want evidence, here is a link to The Center For Medical Progress’ YouTube channel with the complete videos, lest you believe that the editing was “trickery.” https://m.youtube.com/user/centerformedprogress

And here’s the link to The Texas Senate Health and Human Services Committee hearing regarding funding of Planned Parenthood.  Check out the testimony at 2 hours, 30 minutes. http://tlcsenate.granicus.com/MediaPlayer.php?view_id=30&clip_id=10412

William Wilberforce, in regards to slavery, said, “You can choose to look the other way, but you can never again say you did not know.”  Now I know and I’m not looking away.

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I Can Do Anything

I have always believed that I could do anything I set my mind to.  Not at first, but with practice, I could learn.  Except brain surgery.  I could never do brain surgery.  I also believed that I could conquer any situation.  If I would just press through, all would be just fine.  Sore shoulder?  Ignore it and it will get better.  Hundred degree weather?  Just drink lots of water and you’ll be fine.  Going at top speed uphill?  Ignore the fact that your heart is beating so hard that you can actually see it through your shirt.  Letting anything stand in my way was cause for failure.  I would need to justify  my lack of accomplishment, and even then I secretly thought I was a wimp.  If only I had tried harder, kept pressing, I would have managed it. I firmly believe in a growth mindset, but taken to the extreme, it is a lousy way to live.  The truth is I cannot do everything.

My first inkling of this was realizing that I didn’t have time to do everything.  I still believed that if I really wanted to, I could accomplish anything.  I just realized that there weren’t enough hours in the day or years in my life to do that.  And by realizing, I mean getting tired of melting down when I wasn’t able to get something done, despite scheduling myself down to the minute.  Maybe I just wasn’t being efficient enough.  Um, no.  I am learning to be intentional with how I choose to spend my time.  That helps, but I must emphasize the word “learning.”  No way I am there.

Lately I have been discovering that I really can’t do everything, even if I had unlimited time.  It pains me to say this, but I have physical limitations.  I will never be able to handle hot days.  The more I try, the worse I get.  I won’t ever run a marathon.  My knees won’t take it.  I cannot power up the hills behind my house at full speed. With every passing year, it just gets harder.

But worse is recognizing that I have emotional limitations too.  I am a sensitive person and I doubt I will ever get to a place where people’s unflattering opinions of me don’t matter.  I will never be able to roll with the punches quite as much as I would like.  Loud noises, strong smells, changes in schedules, burnt dinners are always going to cause me to catch my breath.

I so do not want to be a wimp.  I want to be calm, capable, and courageous.  So, today I make this stand.  I will be courageous and recognize that I have these issues.  When they raise their heads, I will grant myself grace.  I will say to myself, “Self, this is tricky.  But God is not surprised.  He is capable of managing things.  You can relax.”  The more I give myself permission to be bothered by random things, the less bothered I am.  The faster I get over being bothered.  The more I like myself.  The less I think I’m a wimp.  I end up being that calm, capable, courageous woman I always wanted to be. Today anyway.